[Suletta is quiet too. In part it was the necessity of such — there were curfews for a reason. The school was safe as houses. The duels were bloodless; they lived in a comfortable bubble.
She's careful not to dawdle. More to the point, she's troubled. No, no, that wasn't the right feeling.
Sad? No. A little bit, maybe. The feeling she's searching for is annoyed. It's a disappointed annoyance, like the kind she used to get when Aerial would beat her at a shooting or strategy game. She slips into Miorine's room without incident. Miorine barely used it now; she was so busy. Suletta kept it clean for her regardless. On those evenings where she missed Miorine particularly, or simply missed quiet, she would sleep here alone.
She settles herself before she finally talks to Miorine.]
I'm not sure.
[She's got her cheek against a pillow, the phone close to her, on speaker so she doesn't need to move much. She mumbles the words.]
It feels strange to ask for things like this.
[She closes her eyes and tries to think of how she felt while taking the photos.]
I, ah...
How far have you gone, Miorine? You seem to... to know more about these things, so I wanted to learn more on my own.
[Suletta smiles a little, a sad smile.] I thought so. There weren't any others my age on Mercury, so I couldn't tell if it was odd or not.
[It's a clearheaded admission, given without stammering.] It's alright. I told Secilia-san, when she complained — "Miorine-san is grumpy, but she's kind." That's why I knew you didn't mean it.
[ what a question, she has to think about it so she foregoes being annoyed at that grumpy comment. ]
I've never thought about it— I mean, just because I've done it doesn't mean I'm that worldly. Hm..
[ she makes a thoughtful noise, sounds like she does when Lilique asks her a complicated billing question. ]
I like leaving marks. I have a bad habit of being attracted to popular people.
[ Miorine assumes Suletta will connect the dots as to why those two things are related. She's quiet like she doesn't want anyone to overhear, never mind that she's alone in her room. ]
[Suletta feels the ache that Miorine's earlier comment had caused her slowly ebbing away. With its absence, her usual hesitancy threatens to fill in the space — Suletta quells it. She instead listens to Miorine. For a time she's quiet, mulling it over - there's a slight intake of breath.] Oh, I-
I understand. I see.
[...]
Is that why you wanted to take the pictures of me instead? [a pause.] You don't want others to see me that way?
[ She says it like the word has a bad after taste. These things had never been much of an issue with her other partners but Suletta is more shy, more careful. She asserted her boundaries in a way that was always half scared. ]
Taking pictures isn't that hard, I just need to get a camera and read some guides. Next time.. let me do it. And if I'm not around do it yourself.
[ Miorine's toes curl with excitement when Suletta agrees to her demands. She's blushing, not that Suletta would know. ]
Good.
[ for some reason Suletta's question makes her smile— maybe it's just because she misses her. She sounds warm when she speaks. ]
I thought you were the scared one. You always pull away when things get to be too much.. I don't really care if you do, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make you uncomfortable.
[ she's up now, some burst of a second wind making her walk around her room.
There is much she wants to say: about Suletta's upbringing and the hand Prospera had in her isolation. But she foregoes that.
One mountain at a time. ]
I was lucky, all of my experiences with that stuff were good. But it if you get off on the wrong foot with things like sex it can mess you up. I just want to make sure you're comfortable, that's all.
[Suletta is quiet as Miorine speaks, and remains that way for several moments afterward. This was not uncommon for her in these moments of calm — the beats of time where her tendency for thoughtful responses came out. She is thinking over what she should convey now.]
You don't make me uncomfortable. [a pause.] It isn't you. [It's said gently, almost apologetically.] I'm not always sure if I'll make a mistake.
[There is another part to this that she does not admit, and won't unless she's caught — that like the game with the photographs, this too was a source of excitement. That what intimacy they did share would have Miorine so out of sorts and enraptured by her presence even when she was twisting in the wind.
She feels bad about it now, not having realized that it was causing this. It was just... nice. To be the center of her attention in that way. It occurs to her tonight that there were other ways.
She had her full attention now, after all.]
I don't think that anything you do will mess me up. [another pause.] I'm sorry. I should have said this before.
[ Suletta sounds less melancholy now, mostly thoughtful. Miorine is silently relived. ]
Who cares if you make a mistake? The mess ups are part of it. Teenage sex isn't anything like those dumb dramas you and Lilique watch— it's usually awkward and you get sweaty and gross.
[ She makes a face instinctively at her own words, Suletta can probably hear it. ]
I figured you would say something eventually.. I just wanted to be careful.
[ this last part she spits out before she can overthink it. ]
[Miorine's response — and the face she can imagine her making — earns a giggle from Suletta. It tapers off as Miorine continues, and Suletta's expression gradually smooths out.
She's thinking, and speaks over her as she blurts out that last remark, her voice calm but incisive.]
Miorine?
[She waits for a second.]
When I ask you the things that you like about me, or about the things that I'm wearing... you don't like it much. But I...
I want to hear those things from you. I want to know, [she's blushing now. She takes a breath.] what you see.
[ Miorine stops pacing, flexing her jaw in indecision. If that was what Suletta wanted there were no consequences in giving it to her. ]
It's not that I don't like it.. look— you're not very good at being honest either. But fine—
[ She doesn't sound mad, though maybe a little surly. That changes when she speaks again. ]
Your body— do you know how envious other girls probably are of your body? You hide it under that uniform but.. your legs, your hips, your chest— I notice all of those things. I think about them a lot.
[To the jab at her own honesty, Suletta wisely says nothing. Instead she listens again, and shivers all over as Miorine speaks. She bites her lower lip and pulls the blanket closer around herself.
It takes her longer to respond, this time. Her voice is softer than it had been before.]
I... I didn't know that. [She looks off to the side, though there's no need to hide herself from Miorine — she's alone, after all. And at last, she begins to feel frustrated at this.] You really think that-
[She's red in the face again.] When...
When you think about those things, what are you thinking?
[ Well, they've come this far- and she finally has no indecision over whether or not Suletta wants her to push them forward.
Miorine's voice is quiet but confident, she speaks easily. ]
I'm thinking about how I want to put my hands on all of those parts of you.
[ she's sitting down now on the edge of her bed. miorine crosses one leg over the other and holds her phone lazily, falling into the comfort of intimacy free of judgement. ]
I'm going to say something that will hopefully keep you from asking stupid questions about how I feel about you—
[ Miorine sounds different now. There's nothing bashful there, not even in the annoyed way she usually was when it came to begin honest.
In this moment her experience with these things shows. ]
When I'm by myself I think about you. I don't think about anything or anyone else.
[In contrast, Suletta is quiet again, her eyes widening at each frankly stated confession. At the last one, she shifts restlessly on the bed, feeling impatient and eager in equal measure.]
Oh—!
[It's muffled: she has a hand covering her mouth. She bites down on one of her knuckles, and tries not to see the mental image of what Miorine has admitted to every time she blinks — an exercise that proves to be a failure. She swallows audibly.] That's... thank you.
[...]
While I was taking the pictures, I thought of what you would say when you saw them. And after, when I was alone again, I—
I wished you were here. I missed you, and I was in your bed like I am now. [Her voice is scarcely above a whisper.] I thought about you then too. You were all I thought about.
[ She feels stupid for thinking Suletta wouldn't have the same urges and desires as her and their peers. But still, she can't help but be embarrassed and surprised.
And also, she feels loved- to be missed and longed for, it feels like there's something to come home to. ]
Mmhmm. [In the wake of her confession, Suletta has shut her eyes tightly, as if to hide from it. She almost feels inclined to apologize, and is willing herself to do so, but it turns out that she didn't have to worry about anything at all.
She opens her eyes again, one of her hands clenching and unclenching on the sheets. She takes a moment to compose herself.
Warm -
She kicks the blankets away.]
...Yes. Okay. I-
[Another pause.]
We will.
[She falls silent for a few moments, then:]
If you ever want anything... please ask me. If I'm not ready, I'll tell you. Otherwise I'll... I'd like to try, if it's for you.
[She automatically thinks to protest: hers weren't as good, she wants to say, she couldn't get the lighting right, she looked too serious in them. Then she considers everything Miorine had admitted to tonight. She makes a sound that sounds like a grumble, but of course, Suletta did not gripe. Definitely not.]
Okay. [...] But you can't tease.
[A few moments later, and an image is sent. Suletta's in the oversized shirt in this one, sitting on the edge of the bed with the phone angled above her. Her hair is loose and tousled. She is frowning, just a little: her brows creased together. It looks as if she's focusing so hard on the act of taking the photograph, that she forgets she's the subject of the photo entirely.]
...
That was the only one I didn't dislike.
[It's not said with any melancholy. If anything, she sounds a bit disgruntled.]
[She wants to sound annoyed a little longer, but she can't keep the surprised relief out of her voice. She smiles too.]
Thank you.
[She ponders over something for a moment. Decides, for now, on a compromise.]
Then I'll wear it down more often around you.
[It was not practical during any kind of pilot work, and she... she didn't like the idea of wearing it down during classes. But alone with Miorine, that was fine. She would try that much.]
[ Miorine offers quiet distracted acknowledgment, she's tapping quietly on her phone in between talking to Suletta.
It might seem like she's handling something for work but— ]
I won't be home for a few days still but I'm sending something in advance of that. There's a lot of shopping on this Front, I saw something that reminded me of you.
[ Tracking information is sent to Suletta almost instantly. ]
You have class at 7 tomorrow.
[ Yes she knows Suletta's schedule by memory. ]
Do you need anything else from me? If not you should sleep. You always get cranky if you don't get a full 8 hours.
[She sounds surprised. There's a little "oh!" when she receives the tracking information. Still sounding a little thrown, she responds absently:]
- Yes, I do! [... The slightest of frowns.] Cranky... [Was she cranky when she hadn't slept well? Something about Miorine noticing these details makes her blush.] alright. I will. I don't need anything else, but you should sleep too. You never get enough sleep.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 03:37 am (UTC)Suletta usually wouldn't keep her up so late even if Miorine had a penchant for doing so anyway. ]
Okay.
[ is all she says, not mad but just quiet in that way Miorine was. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 05:04 am (UTC)[Suletta is quiet too. In part it was the necessity of such — there were curfews for a reason. The school was safe as houses. The duels were bloodless; they lived in a comfortable bubble.
She's careful not to dawdle. More to the point, she's troubled. No, no, that wasn't the right feeling.
Sad? No. A little bit, maybe. The feeling she's searching for is annoyed. It's a disappointed annoyance, like the kind she used to get when Aerial would beat her at a shooting or strategy game. She slips into Miorine's room without incident. Miorine barely used it now; she was so busy. Suletta kept it clean for her regardless. On those evenings where she missed Miorine particularly, or simply missed quiet, she would sleep here alone.
She settles herself before she finally talks to Miorine.]
I'm not sure.
[She's got her cheek against a pillow, the phone close to her, on speaker so she doesn't need to move much. She mumbles the words.]
It feels strange to ask for things like this.
[She closes her eyes and tries to think of how she felt while taking the photos.]
I, ah...
How far have you gone, Miorine? You seem to... to know more about these things, so I wanted to learn more on my own.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 05:41 am (UTC)I've had sex, but only ever in relationships. A lot of people in our grade haven't- rich kids just have a lot of freedom and time.
[ She imagines Suletta curled up in her bed and speaks to her like she's right beside her- voice low. ]
I keep being condescending without realizing it.. sorry. You can ask me about stuff like that you know.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 05:54 am (UTC)[Suletta smiles a little, a sad smile.] I thought so. There weren't any others my age on Mercury, so I couldn't tell if it was odd or not.
[It's a clearheaded admission, given without stammering.] It's alright. I told Secilia-san, when she complained — "Miorine-san is grumpy, but she's kind." That's why I knew you didn't mean it.
[A pause. Cautiously, she begins.]
What kinds of things... do you enjoy?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 02:25 pm (UTC)I've never thought about it— I mean, just because I've done it doesn't mean I'm that worldly. Hm..
[ she makes a thoughtful noise, sounds like she does when Lilique asks her a complicated billing question. ]
I like leaving marks. I have a bad habit of being attracted to popular people.
[ Miorine assumes Suletta will connect the dots as to why those two things are related. She's quiet like she doesn't want anyone to overhear, never mind that she's alone in her room. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 04:21 pm (UTC)I understand. I see.
[...]
Is that why you wanted to take the pictures of me instead? [a pause.] You don't want others to see me that way?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 05:35 pm (UTC)[ She says it like the word has a bad after taste. These things had never been much of an issue with her other partners but Suletta is more shy, more careful. She asserted her boundaries in a way that was always half scared. ]
Taking pictures isn't that hard, I just need to get a camera and read some guides. Next time.. let me do it. And if I'm not around do it yourself.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 05:53 pm (UTC)[...]
Okay. I will, next time. I won't let anyone else see. Only you.
[Her smile returns, melting away the distant glassiness in her eyes. She snuggles in closer to the pillow.]
You don't leave marks on me. Why?
[She can guess why: she wants to hear Miorine communicate it.]
... Miorine, are you frightened?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 10:18 pm (UTC)Good.
[ for some reason Suletta's question makes her smile— maybe it's just because she misses her. She sounds warm when she speaks. ]
I thought you were the scared one. You always pull away when things get to be too much.. I don't really care if you do, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make you uncomfortable.
[ she's up now, some burst of a second wind making her walk around her room.
There is much she wants to say: about Suletta's upbringing and the hand Prospera had in her isolation. But she foregoes that.
One mountain at a time. ]
I was lucky, all of my experiences with that stuff were good. But it if you get off on the wrong foot with things like sex it can mess you up. I just want to make sure you're comfortable, that's all.
[ and then, in a grumble. ]
It's not like I've ever seemed disinterested..
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 10:53 pm (UTC)You don't make me uncomfortable. [a pause.] It isn't you. [It's said gently, almost apologetically.] I'm not always sure if I'll make a mistake.
[There is another part to this that she does not admit, and won't unless she's caught — that like the game with the photographs, this too was a source of excitement. That what intimacy they did share would have Miorine so out of sorts and enraptured by her presence even when she was twisting in the wind.
She feels bad about it now, not having realized that it was causing this. It was just... nice. To be the center of her attention in that way. It occurs to her tonight that there were other ways.
She had her full attention now, after all.]
I don't think that anything you do will mess me up. [another pause.] I'm sorry. I should have said this before.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 11:02 pm (UTC)Who cares if you make a mistake? The mess ups are part of it. Teenage sex isn't anything like those dumb dramas you and Lilique watch— it's usually awkward and you get sweaty and gross.
[ She makes a face instinctively at her own words, Suletta can probably hear it. ]
I figured you would say something eventually.. I just wanted to be careful.
[ this last part she spits out before she can overthink it. ]
Just don't assume I'm not interested ever again.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 11:18 pm (UTC)She's thinking, and speaks over her as she blurts out that last remark, her voice calm but incisive.]
Miorine?
[She waits for a second.]
When I ask you the things that you like about me, or about the things that I'm wearing... you don't like it much. But I...
I want to hear those things from you. I want to know, [she's blushing now. She takes a breath.] what you see.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 11:24 pm (UTC)It's not that I don't like it.. look— you're not very good at being honest either. But fine—
[ She doesn't sound mad, though maybe a little surly. That changes when she speaks again. ]
Your body— do you know how envious other girls probably are of your body? You hide it under that uniform but.. your legs, your hips, your chest— I notice all of those things. I think about them a lot.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-23 11:36 pm (UTC)It takes her longer to respond, this time. Her voice is softer than it had been before.]
I... I didn't know that. [She looks off to the side, though there's no need to hide herself from Miorine — she's alone, after all. And at last, she begins to feel frustrated at this.] You really think that-
[She's red in the face again.] When...
When you think about those things, what are you thinking?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 01:10 am (UTC)Miorine's voice is quiet but confident, she speaks easily. ]
I'm thinking about how I want to put my hands on all of those parts of you.
[ she's sitting down now on the edge of her bed. miorine crosses one leg over the other and holds her phone lazily, falling into the comfort of intimacy free of judgement. ]
I'm going to say something that will hopefully keep you from asking stupid questions about how I feel about you—
[ Miorine sounds different now. There's nothing bashful there, not even in the annoyed way she usually was when it came to begin honest.
In this moment her experience with these things shows. ]
When I'm by myself I think about you. I don't think about anything or anyone else.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 01:48 am (UTC)Oh—!
[It's muffled: she has a hand covering her mouth. She bites down on one of her knuckles, and tries not to see the mental image of what Miorine has admitted to every time she blinks — an exercise that proves to be a failure. She swallows audibly.] That's... thank you.
[...]
While I was taking the pictures, I thought of what you would say when you saw them. And after, when I was alone again, I—
I wished you were here. I missed you, and I was in your bed like I am now. [Her voice is scarcely above a whisper.] I thought about you then too. You were all I thought about.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 02:00 am (UTC)Oh.
[ She feels stupid for thinking Suletta wouldn't have the same urges and desires as her and their peers. But still, she can't help but be embarrassed and surprised.
And also, she feels loved- to be missed and longed for, it feels like there's something to come home to. ]
Did you touch yourself in my bed?
[ a beat ]
Next time I want to see it.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 02:13 am (UTC)She opens her eyes again, one of her hands clenching and unclenching on the sheets. She takes a moment to compose herself.
Warm -
She kicks the blankets away.]
...Yes. Okay. I-
[Another pause.]
We will.
[She falls silent for a few moments, then:]
If you ever want anything... please ask me. If I'm not ready, I'll tell you. Otherwise I'll... I'd like to try, if it's for you.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 03:42 am (UTC)[ She says it almost immediately. ]
One that you took, with no opinions from Secillia.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 04:08 am (UTC)[She automatically thinks to protest: hers weren't as good, she wants to say, she couldn't get the lighting right, she looked too serious in them. Then she considers everything Miorine had admitted to tonight. She makes a sound that sounds like a grumble, but of course, Suletta did not gripe. Definitely not.]
Okay. [...] But you can't tease.
[A few moments later, and an image is sent. Suletta's in the oversized shirt in this one, sitting on the edge of the bed with the phone angled above her. Her hair is loose and tousled. She is frowning, just a little: her brows creased together. It looks as if she's focusing so hard on the act of taking the photograph, that she forgets she's the subject of the photo entirely.]
...
That was the only one I didn't dislike.
[It's not said with any melancholy. If anything, she sounds a bit disgruntled.]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 04:36 am (UTC)[ Miorine is already teasing, obviously. But otherwise she waits patiently and listens to the quiet sounds on the other line.
She's already looking at the picture when Suletta returns sounding less than pleased. Miorine however is smiling. ]
You look good. I like when you wear your hair down.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 04:50 am (UTC)[She wants to sound annoyed a little longer, but she can't keep the surprised relief out of her voice. She smiles too.]
Thank you.
[She ponders over something for a moment. Decides, for now, on a compromise.]
Then I'll wear it down more often around you.
[It was not practical during any kind of pilot work, and she... she didn't like the idea of wearing it down during classes. But alone with Miorine, that was fine. She would try that much.]
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 02:02 pm (UTC)[ Miorine offers quiet distracted acknowledgment, she's tapping quietly on her phone in between talking to Suletta.
It might seem like she's handling something for work but— ]
I won't be home for a few days still but I'm sending something in advance of that. There's a lot of shopping on this Front, I saw something that reminded me of you.
[ Tracking information is sent to Suletta almost instantly. ]
You have class at 7 tomorrow.
[ Yes she knows Suletta's schedule by memory. ]
Do you need anything else from me? If not you should sleep. You always get cranky if you don't get a full 8 hours.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-24 05:22 pm (UTC)[She sounds surprised. There's a little "oh!" when she receives the tracking information. Still sounding a little thrown, she responds absently:]
- Yes, I do! [... The slightest of frowns.] Cranky... [Was she cranky when she hadn't slept well? Something about Miorine noticing these details makes her blush.] alright. I will. I don't need anything else, but you should sleep too. You never get enough sleep.