[This is so soothing that it surprises her, turns her bones into jelly. She relaxes beneath Miorine's touch, finally, the nervous and tensr energy that seemed to haunt her every step dissipating. Her eyes close, and her head bobs a little, until the threat comes. Flustered, Suletta's hands fly up to cover Miorine's own, as if to stop whatever vague horror she has planned preemptively. Her eyes are still closed, so she just looks silly.]
Nothing!
[And then, timidly :] I was only thinking, that you wear heels so much... I hadn't noticed how small you are. You always seem much bigger, so you're cute this way.
[ She scowls immediately, embarrassed in a way she usually isn't. When other people called her cute it was usually demeaning, but when Suletta calls her cute she knows it's earnest— it's uncharted territory, so she reacts with annoyance (her default state). ]
What did you say?!
[ She does not pull on Suletta's hair, but her fingers do grip harder— a gentle tug, as if to signal that she cannot be stopped. ]
Not all of us can be like you! What do they even feed people on Mercury. Are you all giants?
[Suletta squeaks in expectation of pain that doesn't come, and cranes her head up to look at Miorine, squinting to avoid suds in her eyes. ]
I didn't mean anything bad! [Because Miorine has taken offense, she moves to clarify. Now that the immediate threat has passed, she seems calmer.] It's cute, that's all. I wish I wasn't so tall — I grow out of things too quickly. But you always look nice in whatever you wear. That's what I meant.
Miorine let's her know this by letting go of her hair and swatting Suletta's hands away. ]
Move. I need to wash the shampoo out!
[ She mulls over Suletta's words while rubbing the suds out of her scalp- as gentle as she is thorough, admiring the long strands of red that fall through her hands. ]
I like that you're tall. It suits you- and if we were both short we wouldn't fit together as nicely.
[ She will not admit more than this: but she likes that Suletta towers over her, watchful and always there when she may need a boost, shade, or simply something to admire. It's attractive, but despite her own angling for this kind of validation she can't quite offer Suletta the same in as many words. ]
It's not how tall or short you are that decides how good you look in something, anyway. It's about knowing what you feel good wearing and acting like it was made just for you even if it wasn't.
[ All the while Miorine lathers her own hair, eyes closed as soap and water trickle down her face. Throws her head forward and down so that her head is tilted in a way to make the whole thing easier and she yells over the water. ]
Well? Are you going to stand there? Or are you going to scrub my back?
[Miorine yells and she postures, but her hands are gentle as she washes the shampoo out of her hair, and what she says makes Suletta blush. Miorine doesn’t think that her height is unsightly; she thinks that it suits her. Miorine thinks they fit together this way.
Suletta smiles, closing her eyes again, and for a moment indulges in this thing rarely experienced: someone giving her their undivided attention, caring for her. She soaks it up like a flower in darkness, craning helplessly toward a beam of sunlight. That’s what Miorine’s attention felt like — something integral and necessary.
Her eyes open again at Miorine’s request (more like a demand), and she straightens up.] Right! [Her cheeks are still a little red, and she hopes it isn’t noticeable.
Miorine’s back is as pale as the rest of her, and her hair shines as it clings to her back, shimmering with water droplets. Suletta swallows hard, and cautiously approaches, reaching for the shower gel without pulling her eyes away. There is color along Miorine’s bare skin, she realizes: spots where the hot water has flushed her skin pink. Suletta’s fingers twitch in the air, and then she pushes Miorine’s wet hair over her shoulder to expose her back. Closer now, she becomes fixated by the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, the pale expanse of skin there. There’s a freckle, barely noticeable. She wonders if anyone else has ever seen it.
She hasn’t even started washing her back and she’s going to pass out. Suletta steels her nerve, works soap into a lather into her hands, and steps closer, beginning to wash Miorine’s back. Her hands are warm and gentle, a barely-felt pressure. She’s afraid to even talk. She can hear her heart beating in her ears.]
This is okay, right? [She’d been worried that her voice would tremble, or that she’d be too loud again, but her voice is soft and steady.]
[ Miorine is again, unaware of Suletta's internal crisis. She's both familiar and intimate enough with her at this point to be aware that any new experience for Suletta came with some degree of panic and fear, to what extent she doesn't know (because she's facing away, obviously).
The answer Suletta seeks comes in the way of a pleasant sigh as she tilts her head to stretch her neck— feeling the tension slowly be rubbed away by Suletta's hands.
Her hands are careful and strong, they feel nice for all the reasons they should and in part because they belong to Suletta.
Miorine is quiet for a moment, and then suddenly erupts: ]
Man!
[ it's hard to tell if she's groaning in annoyance or exhausted. Miorine leans back slightly, resting her weight against Suletta. ]
I hope every single man in that room goes to hell.
[The sigh runs its way up Suletta's spine, makes her head buzz pleasantly. It's an affirmation too, and it makes her feel proud and embarrassed in equal measure.
The sound of water around them obscures the surprised noise she makes when Miorine leans against her. She's soft, warm, slippery from water and soap.
Gradually, it occurs to her that Miorine is complaining about something. She catches enough of it to give what she hopes is an appropriate response.]
They were rude to you. [She agrees, carefully. A memory comes to her.] The one with the silly mustache was the worst.
[An investor in their company, but keeping up with their names and what they controlled was not Suletta's forte. All she knew is that one had too much to drink, and had put his hand on Miorine's shoulder. Without thinking, Suletta had placed herself between them, and asked him a question that was likely woefully simplistic. But he'd humored it, perhaps finding it cute, and more importantly he'd left Miorine alone.]
[ She knows she's a difficult person to comfort. Many had tried, either earnestly or for gain and few had succeeded. So she's surprised too when Suletta's words bring her some level of calm, like a balm to her bruised ego. Words usually meant little to her, but Suletta was so earnest in all that she did Miorine knows and trusts she would do something about all of them if she could. ]
I could bring him back his investment by tenfold and he still wouldn't take me seriously. Men are like that.
[ She looks up at Suletta and from this view the difference in height is even more apparent. If Suletta is tense behind her she doesn't seem to notice, too busy taking note instead of how firm and steady she feels. ]
You know, you were almost smooth when you intercepted him. I was actually impressed.
[ The smile she offers is teasing but as genuine as it usually gets with Miorine. She had been impressed, and she'd appreciated it.
With each of these events Suletta grew more confident and in turn had begun to be a source of support instead of someone to babysit.
Hm. [Suletta thinks of some of the elders on Mercury, how most had no love for her or her mother, but the men seemed to be most vocal in their dislike.
The memory is an unpleasant one, and luckily what Miorine says distracts her from it.]
Really? Ehe… [Sheepishly, Suletta rubs at the back of her head. The compliment was sparse, but from Miorine it was high praise. It didn’t take much to please Suletta, anyway.] I’m happy it worked. He was, [a pause, as she tries to work out an insult that was not too biting.] pushy. He was making you uncomfortable.
[She had been able to tell this. After spending so much time with Miorine, she was realizing that her moods, normally so impenetrable, were beginning to make sense the more time she observed. So she had seen the way Miorine’s shoulders jumped so slightly when the man touched her, and had felt not panic but something else. A bristling irritation — didn’t he see that she didn’t like that?]
[ Whatever ire Suletta had avoided Miorine delivers tenfold. She pulls away just slightly, enough so that she is maintaining her own balance again. Miorine lathers soap between her hands and keeps her gaze above Suletta's shoulders in an effort to avoid ruining whatever progress had been made in the way of soothed nerves. ]
Here, I'll get your back too.
[ Suletta's shoulders are broader than she realizes, well worked muscles hidden beneath soft tan skin. Freakish stamina aside it made sense she was strong, working a mobile suit was hardly for the weak, especially one of Aerial's caliber.
She has to stand on her toes to reach Suletta's shoulders and when she notices just how taut those muscles are she can't help but firmly work her fingertips against the muscle. ]
Figures, you carry all your tension in your shoulders. You need to relax more you know.
[ A case of the pot calling the kettle black if there ever was one. ]
[Physical contact had been commonplace between them from the start, though it had been largely comprised of Miorine flicking her in the forehead, or something similar. This sort of intimacy is newer, however, and she is torn between enjoying it and feeling slightly guilty about it. Things like this from Miorine seemed rare a precious, though by now she's noticed that she got preferential treatment in the matter.
(Understatement of the year.)
For now, her shoulders hunch reflexively before she remembers to relax. Miorine's hands are firm and confident, working away stiffness she hadn't even realized that she was carrying. Her closeness flusters Suletta, who feels clumsy and unsteady, worried that she would do something to cause it to end prematurely.]
You don't relax either. When you're not sleeping, you work all the time. So I thought.... I should work that hard too, so that I could help you.
[ Suletta is more observant than she gives her credit for. It had been a bit condescending of Miorine to assume she didn't notice things if they didn't threaten her internal world in any way. She realizes she may be no better or worse than the others for internally undermining whatever sense of responsibility Suletta felt toward her- not just out of duty, but affection.
And for that reason she offers an apology in the way of this concession: ]
Your list- what's something on that would be relaxing?
[ Her hands move more central, both working in tandem to get the muscles closer to Suletta's neck. She has a comment about how Suletta's slouching has contributed to her poor posture brewing but she bites it down for now.
Miorine's hands come to rest around the base of Suletta's neck, grasping lightly- liek a threat. ]
We'll do it. It'll be good for both of us and it'll be productive.
[Miorine's hands move over her skin, fingers working away all the kinks and knots at the base of her neck. An odd feeling comes over her as a result: an intermingling of discomfort and sleepy pleasure. Suletta's head lolls before she shakes herself back into semi-alertness.]
Mm?
[It's a miracle among miracles. She seems relaxed, which was almost unheard of in their day to day.] Ah... [a little yawn that she covers with her mouth automatically before beginning to count off the ideas on her fingers.] All sorts of things. Going to the movies with a friend, having a sleepover, [Her voice drifts off before she finds her train of thought again.] going swimming...
[ She says definitively, sealing the promise by squeezing Suletta's neck.
The warmth of the water and the way the alcohol muddles her senses commingle quite nicely, and Miorine finds herself less concerned with the things she might usually work herself up over; things like personal space, composure, and holding herself up.
Almost suddenly, she falls forward some, leaning fully against Suletta. Miorine buries her face against Suletta. The words are muffled and barely audible over the water. ]
I haven't been to the beach in forever. We could go to a pool.. but it wouldn't be the same.
[ Suletta is soft, comfortable despite the lanky bones and covert muscle. She's realized this before, but this is the first time it's really registered in a slow lingering way. ]
I've never seen the beach, not really. But my mom and dad took me to one of those simulated tourist attractions with the fake waves— the ceiling is completely made of screens and they look so real you almost think you're looking at the sun.
[The warmth of the water and the careful work of Miorine’s hands make her relax gradually, her breathing slowing, drifting in and out of semi-awareness. It’s the reminder that Miorine is leaning on her for support that keeps her upright, and so when she rests against her, Suletta doesn’t tense. Instead her shoulders dip some; she smiles. It made sense that Miorine would have been swimming, already — it seemed that Suletta was forever catching up with these things that others had done so much of already. The thought doesn’t sting as it usually does, though. Instead, without thinking, she says:]
It sounds amazing! Mm, there’s nothing like that on Mercury. Most of what I’ve seen of beaches have been in books, or videos… [She turns to glance at Miorine, her brow crinkling in amusement when she realizes that she can’t.] Can you hear it? Oh! [Her hands almost fan out in excitement before she remembers where they are.] I wonder if it smells the same too.
The sounds were easy and the foggy heat of the shower is a tropical climate when she's already warm from the booze. Miorine allows herself the luxury of quietly falling into the optimism of Suletta's imagination. ]
Don't get so excited. You can't go into moving water until you at least learn to float on still water.
[ Miorine sleepily rubs her face against Suletta's back and gets the slightest taste of salt. ]
I have some free time coming up. It's not much but I think it'll align with the school's seasonal closure. We'll plan for something then.
[ And without so much as another word she opens the shower door. Cold air rushes in and the steam flows out. Miorine doesn't bother with a towel and drips water with every step she takes out of the bathroom. ]
I'll practice! I'll do my best. [She's fired up now, eager for these hypothetical swimming lessons.
The cold shocks her out of her pleasant reverie, and she yelps, ineffectually trying to cover herself with her hands. Miorine's halfway out of the bathroom before Suletta manages to scramble out of the shower, grabbing a towel so fast that the bar holding it spins rapidly before going still again.
Suletta wraps herself in it, holding white-knuckled onto it with one hand, grabbing a second towel with the other. There's little puddles of water all over thanks to Miorine, and in her haste she very nearly slips.
She approaches Miorine with the caution of approaching a wild animal, gently draping the extra towel over her shoulders. This done, she breathes out in a relieved sigh, having set the universe right again.]
[ Miorine looks like a skittish prey animal. She stops in the middle of her trek back to the bed, admittedly cold and wet. She casts a look at Suletta from over her shoulder and it's difficult to tell if she might attack or run away.
In the end she allows her to approach. ]
You know that theory was disproved forever ago.
[ But still, she does not deny the warmth and gives Suletta some peace of mind. Somehow these things have become more important than being right.
With the towel around her she's at least covered up now. Miorine bypasses her half gutted mess of a suitcase and heads straight for bed. She pulls the towel away once under the duvet and lazily dries the water from her hair.
Her vision is in and out obscured from the towel and her own split focus- she thinks about all the things she has done, what she has left to do, meetings tomorrow and meetings that have passed. And then, she looks at Suletta, finding those thoughts beginning to slow. ]
You have long legs.
[ It's a thought from her stream of conscious that manages to slip from her brain and through her mouth. ]
[Suletta has also learned the art of allowing some of Miorine's griping to roll off her back, which she does with the correction. She is also distracted, still working her way through this intimacy. Normally, she would get dressed and undressed in private, not wanting to intrude on Miorine's space. Tonight, though... she thinks it wouldn't make any sense. Moreover, she thinks it might offend her, which would be even worse than any temporary bashfulness.
She hustles to her own suitcase without looking at anything in particular, crouching beside it to find her pajamas. Her hair is still wet; the towel dips just slightly. Her gaze has the sharp focus that came over her when she was piloting: when something had her singular attention. This lasts long enough for her to find her pajama bottoms, and then Miorine's comment makes her lose her train of thought.]
Eh?
[She looks up, blinking owlishly, still holding half of her pajamas.] Really? ... Thank you.
[A sheepish smile follows this — she'd never thought about her legs with any amount of depth, save the times she would see someone in a pretty dress or skirt and imagine wearing it. With their uniforms, there was never much opportunity for it — impractical by any measure. The compliment pleases her, warms her. She twists her clothing between her hands. Suddenly, she is aware of the weight of Miorine's stare, like a sunbeam aimed directly at her, enough to make her skin tingle. Her breath catches. She quickly turns her attention back to her suitcase, finding her top. For a while she is silent, mulling over something.
Finally, hesitantly, without looking up again, she speaks up.] It means a lot from you because... because you're so pretty.
[ She would be stupid not to notice the way Suletta views herself: folding her limbs as close to her body as possible like a skittish turtle, always trying to be smaller and always too aware of how she occupied space. Miorine seldom gives compliments, and when she does they're often delivered in a way that's hard to decipher- accolades from Miorine often took a neutral or even borderline negative tone. ]
Nothing about how I look has anything to do with you. It's a just a fact- you're as tall as a model and have good proportions. There are women who spend every single day exercising to look like you. Anyway- hand me my pajamas. They're on the floor by your foot.
[ Case in point: even her empathy often sounded dismissive or rude. In reality she wants Suletta to know her good traits have nothing to do with her perception of anyone else. ]
You know.. you don't have to do that stuff. I know you're not really into women and I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. I can't promise I won't take my clothes off in front of you again, though.
[The response is characteristic of Miorine. Sharp and no-nonsense, more an admonishment than a compliment. Suletta is grateful her gaze is lowered, because it gives her a second to collect herself. She goes very still, all of a sudden — she pictures being inside of Aerial's cockpit, doing nothing, just talking in their usual way. Suletta could almost tell what Aerial would say before her displays lit up. How simple it was. Effortless.
This, though. She could not make sense of what Miorine was saying — how her words clashed with her sentiment. But... if she stayed quiet like this, Miorine would think she had done something wrong, and it wasn't that she'd done anything wrong.
Wasn't it?
It was the same as always, so she shouldn't feel bothered by it. It wouldn't be fair to hold that against her.]
Miorine...
[She says, after a long pause. She takes a deep breath, remembers being scolded by Miorine about her posture, and straightens up as if she'd just heard her yell at her to do so in her head (she had.) She looks Miorine in the eye, her gaze more somber than it ever has been.
She's gone very red.] ... Do you think that I'm pretty? [Her mouth twitches; her hands twist anxiously in her lap.] If... if you do, then, pl-please just say that!
[Her nerves get the better of her, and her hands fly up to cover her mouth. She looks mortified.
[ It isn't the first time Suletta has surprised her, but the it is the first time she's stood up for herself over something like this. Miorine had always assumed (and that was the problem between the two of them, they both loved to assume) being acknowledged by her in such a way didn't really matter to Suletta- at least not outside of being validated by someone who she thought was aspirational.
For a second all she can do is sit there, slack jawed, drowning in her hotel towel. ]
[ Finally, she answers- straight forward and without wavering. ]
I do. I've thought that since the first day I met you.
[ She still remembers so vividly being angrily pulled into Aerial's cockpit. Even despite her anger and frustration Miorine had taken time to notice the clear green eyes staring back at her; immediately, she'd thought of a pair of emerald earrings her mother once owned.
There were other things too: how slender her neck was, her hair so vibrant and silky, even the way she carried herself- all her touches as light as could be despite what a warrior she was in battle. ]
But you have to believe it yourself. It doesn't matter how many times I say it if you don't start taking more pride in who you are.
[ It's something she believes wholeheartedly, but it's also a way for her to turn attention away from how embarrassed she is. ]
[Wide eyed and expecting to be yelled at, it takes her a second to process what Miorine's just said. That she did find her pretty, that she'd felt that way since the moment they'd first met. And it's so uncanny, to imagine — that the same time she'd been so fascinated with Miorine, that Miorine had been fascinated by someone like her too.]
Imsosorry!
[It comes out muffled behind her hands before she reaches to grab Miorine's pajamas, and then at last slowly stands from her crouched position. Her knees ache from sitting so long while closed in on herself. Her expression is hard to read as she hands Miorine her clothing in silence.
Then she sits beside her on the bed, head slumped. She rubs at her temples. She seems a little older for a moment, a little more settled. The way she looked often, when alone inside of Aerial: somber and focused.]
I'm not like you.
[She says this after a delay.] No one... no one has ever called me pretty.
[Her hands anxiously twist, and she takes a deep breath.] On Mercury... we weren't welcome. No one liked me, or mom. They didn't want us around. They weren't like... like the people here. No one smiled. No one said thank you. So Aerial and I, we worked really hard! Mom too. All the time — we never saw each other.
[She looks up, stares ahead at nothing. It seems to calm her, to say these things while imagining that Miorine wasn't there, that she was in Aerial instead.] No matter how hard I tried, it didn't change. When Mom asked me if I wanted to go to school, I was so excited! [She brings her hands together, smiling at last, at this memory. ] I'd... only read about school, or watched shows about it.
[Her smile gradually fades. Her expression takes on that eerie somberness again.]
I thought... if... if I could help build a school on Mercury, then they would like me and Mom, and Aerial. But sometimes... I can't believe that.
[It's a shameful admission. Her face crumples at it, at how mean-spirited and dismal a thought it was, that she couldn't just make it go away.]
[ Miorine watches Suletta from her periphery for as long as she can before fabric obscures her vision. She doesn't expect the dull ache that seeps into her stomach and travels up to her throat when Suletta admits these things that Miorine had always known but finds especially hard to stomach today.
Neither of them talked about themselves much, for reasons that were different and for some reasons that were likely the same. She looks up at the ceiling too, somewhat resigned. ]
Do you think someone as pigheaded as Guel would like you if you weren't pretty? He's hardly interested in charity.
[ There's some annoyance there, very much audible in her voice. But it's mostly a distraction from the hurt she feels on Suletta's behalf, somehow more frustration than her own. At least when it came to her own self-imposed misery she could do something about it.
It was harder to undo years of misery imposed on another.
Miorine falls against the pillows behind her, she's small enough that she sinks into the cracks threatening to be eaten alive by down feathers and Egyptian cotton. ]
I didn't have any friends before you. I was just.. this thing, passed around like a trophy- like a lottery ticket. With every duel Guel won I just, I wanted to disappear. Every time one of my escape plans got ruined there was a part of me that wished I didn't exist. What point was there in being brought into the world by your parents if they were just going to treat you like a thing?
[ Even Shaddiq, for all his smiles and the charity of his free time had left her to her own devices and the whims of her Holders. Whatever she was, she was just a means to an end- never a person. ]
You were the reason I have any pride in who I am now- you're the first person who cared enough to fight for me, even if it was for Aerial's sake. So don't tell me you're not like me. I get mad at you because I get it.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-01-10 02:56 pm (UTC)Nothing!
[And then, timidly :] I was only thinking, that you wear heels so much... I hadn't noticed how small you are. You always seem much bigger, so you're cute this way.
[After a moment:]
Please don't make me bald.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-10 03:46 pm (UTC)What did you say?!
[ She does not pull on Suletta's hair, but her fingers do grip harder— a gentle tug, as if to signal that she cannot be stopped. ]
Not all of us can be like you! What do they even feed people on Mercury. Are you all giants?
no subject
Date: 2023-01-10 06:33 pm (UTC)I didn't mean anything bad! [Because Miorine has taken offense, she moves to clarify. Now that the immediate threat has passed, she seems calmer.] It's cute, that's all. I wish I wasn't so tall — I grow out of things too quickly. But you always look nice in whatever you wear. That's what I meant.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-10 07:50 pm (UTC)Miorine let's her know this by letting go of her hair and swatting Suletta's hands away. ]
Move. I need to wash the shampoo out!
[ She mulls over Suletta's words while rubbing the suds out of her scalp- as gentle as she is thorough, admiring the long strands of red that fall through her hands. ]
I like that you're tall. It suits you- and if we were both short we wouldn't fit together as nicely.
[ She will not admit more than this: but she likes that Suletta towers over her, watchful and always there when she may need a boost, shade, or simply something to admire. It's attractive, but despite her own angling for this kind of validation she can't quite offer Suletta the same in as many words. ]
It's not how tall or short you are that decides how good you look in something, anyway. It's about knowing what you feel good wearing and acting like it was made just for you even if it wasn't.
[ All the while Miorine lathers her own hair, eyes closed as soap and water trickle down her face. Throws her head forward and down so that her head is tilted in a way to make the whole thing easier and she yells over the water. ]
Well? Are you going to stand there? Or are you going to scrub my back?
no subject
Date: 2023-01-10 09:31 pm (UTC)Suletta smiles, closing her eyes again, and for a moment indulges in this thing rarely experienced: someone giving her their undivided attention, caring for her. She soaks it up like a flower in darkness, craning helplessly toward a beam of sunlight. That’s what Miorine’s attention felt like — something integral and necessary.
Her eyes open again at Miorine’s request (more like a demand), and she straightens up.] Right! [Her cheeks are still a little red, and she hopes it isn’t noticeable.
Miorine’s back is as pale as the rest of her, and her hair shines as it clings to her back, shimmering with water droplets. Suletta swallows hard, and cautiously approaches, reaching for the shower gel without pulling her eyes away. There is color along Miorine’s bare skin, she realizes: spots where the hot water has flushed her skin pink. Suletta’s fingers twitch in the air, and then she pushes Miorine’s wet hair over her shoulder to expose her back. Closer now, she becomes fixated by the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, the pale expanse of skin there. There’s a freckle, barely noticeable. She wonders if anyone else has ever seen it.
She hasn’t even started washing her back and she’s going to pass out. Suletta steels her nerve, works soap into a lather into her hands, and steps closer, beginning to wash Miorine’s back. Her hands are warm and gentle, a barely-felt pressure. She’s afraid to even talk. She can hear her heart beating in her ears.]
This is okay, right? [She’d been worried that her voice would tremble, or that she’d be too loud again, but her voice is soft and steady.]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-11 12:27 am (UTC)The answer Suletta seeks comes in the way of a pleasant sigh as she tilts her head to stretch her neck— feeling the tension slowly be rubbed away by Suletta's hands.
Her hands are careful and strong, they feel nice for all the reasons they should and in part because they belong to Suletta.
Miorine is quiet for a moment, and then suddenly erupts: ]
Man!
[ it's hard to tell if she's groaning in annoyance or exhausted. Miorine leans back slightly, resting her weight against Suletta. ]
I hope every single man in that room goes to hell.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-11 03:12 am (UTC)The sound of water around them obscures the surprised noise she makes when Miorine leans against her. She's soft, warm, slippery from water and soap.
Gradually, it occurs to her that Miorine is complaining about something. She catches enough of it to give what she hopes is an appropriate response.]
They were rude to you. [She agrees, carefully. A memory comes to her.] The one with the silly mustache was the worst.
[An investor in their company, but keeping up with their names and what they controlled was not Suletta's forte. All she knew is that one had too much to drink, and had put his hand on Miorine's shoulder. Without thinking, Suletta had placed herself between them, and asked him a question that was likely woefully simplistic. But he'd humored it, perhaps finding it cute, and more importantly he'd left Miorine alone.]
They should take you more seriously.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-11 03:55 am (UTC)I could bring him back his investment by tenfold and he still wouldn't take me seriously. Men are like that.
[ She looks up at Suletta and from this view the difference in height is even more apparent. If Suletta is tense behind her she doesn't seem to notice, too busy taking note instead of how firm and steady she feels. ]
You know, you were almost smooth when you intercepted him. I was actually impressed.
[ The smile she offers is teasing but as genuine as it usually gets with Miorine. She had been impressed, and she'd appreciated it.
With each of these events Suletta grew more confident and in turn had begun to be a source of support instead of someone to babysit.
She's still getting used to that. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-01-11 09:33 pm (UTC)The memory is an unpleasant one, and luckily what Miorine says distracts her from it.]
Really? Ehe… [Sheepishly, Suletta rubs at the back of her head. The compliment was sparse, but from Miorine it was high praise. It didn’t take much to please Suletta, anyway.] I’m happy it worked. He was, [a pause, as she tries to work out an insult that was not too biting.] pushy. He was making you uncomfortable.
[She had been able to tell this. After spending so much time with Miorine, she was realizing that her moods, normally so impenetrable, were beginning to make sense the more time she observed. So she had seen the way Miorine’s shoulders jumped so slightly when the man touched her, and had felt not panic but something else. A bristling irritation — didn’t he see that she didn’t like that?]
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Date: 2023-01-11 09:54 pm (UTC)[ Whatever ire Suletta had avoided Miorine delivers tenfold. She pulls away just slightly, enough so that she is maintaining her own balance again. Miorine lathers soap between her hands and keeps her gaze above Suletta's shoulders in an effort to avoid ruining whatever progress had been made in the way of soothed nerves. ]
Here, I'll get your back too.
[ Suletta's shoulders are broader than she realizes, well worked muscles hidden beneath soft tan skin. Freakish stamina aside it made sense she was strong, working a mobile suit was hardly for the weak, especially one of Aerial's caliber.
She has to stand on her toes to reach Suletta's shoulders and when she notices just how taut those muscles are she can't help but firmly work her fingertips against the muscle. ]
Figures, you carry all your tension in your shoulders. You need to relax more you know.
[ A case of the pot calling the kettle black if there ever was one. ]
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Date: 2023-01-12 01:24 am (UTC)(Understatement of the year.)
For now, her shoulders hunch reflexively before she remembers to relax. Miorine's hands are firm and confident, working away stiffness she hadn't even realized that she was carrying. Her closeness flusters Suletta, who feels clumsy and unsteady, worried that she would do something to cause it to end prematurely.]
You don't relax either. When you're not sleeping, you work all the time. So I thought.... I should work that hard too, so that I could help you.
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Date: 2023-01-13 02:44 pm (UTC)And for that reason she offers an apology in the way of this concession: ]
Your list- what's something on that would be relaxing?
[ Her hands move more central, both working in tandem to get the muscles closer to Suletta's neck. She has a comment about how Suletta's slouching has contributed to her poor posture brewing but she bites it down for now.
Miorine's hands come to rest around the base of Suletta's neck, grasping lightly- liek a threat. ]
We'll do it. It'll be good for both of us and it'll be productive.
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Date: 2023-02-06 07:20 am (UTC)Mm?
[It's a miracle among miracles. She seems relaxed, which was almost unheard of in their day to day.] Ah... [a little yawn that she covers with her mouth automatically before beginning to count off the ideas on her fingers.] All sorts of things. Going to the movies with a friend, having a sleepover, [Her voice drifts off before she finds her train of thought again.] going swimming...
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Date: 2023-03-04 02:20 am (UTC)[ She says definitively, sealing the promise by squeezing Suletta's neck.
The warmth of the water and the way the alcohol muddles her senses commingle quite nicely, and Miorine finds herself less concerned with the things she might usually work herself up over; things like personal space, composure, and holding herself up.
Almost suddenly, she falls forward some, leaning fully against Suletta. Miorine buries her face against Suletta. The words are muffled and barely audible over the water. ]
I haven't been to the beach in forever. We could go to a pool.. but it wouldn't be the same.
[ Suletta is soft, comfortable despite the lanky bones and covert muscle. She's realized this before, but this is the first time it's really registered in a slow lingering way. ]
I've never seen the beach, not really. But my mom and dad took me to one of those simulated tourist attractions with the fake waves— the ceiling is completely made of screens and they look so real you almost think you're looking at the sun.
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Date: 2023-03-04 05:41 am (UTC)It sounds amazing! Mm, there’s nothing like that on Mercury. Most of what I’ve seen of beaches have been in books, or videos… [She turns to glance at Miorine, her brow crinkling in amusement when she realizes that she can’t.] Can you hear it? Oh! [Her hands almost fan out in excitement before she remembers where they are.] I wonder if it smells the same too.
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Date: 2023-05-29 09:33 pm (UTC)The sounds were easy and the foggy heat of the shower is a tropical climate when she's already warm from the booze. Miorine allows herself the luxury of quietly falling into the optimism of Suletta's imagination. ]
Don't get so excited. You can't go into moving water until you at least learn to float on still water.
[ Miorine sleepily rubs her face against Suletta's back and gets the slightest taste of salt. ]
I have some free time coming up. It's not much but I think it'll align with the school's seasonal closure. We'll plan for something then.
[ And without so much as another word she opens the shower door. Cold air rushes in and the steam flows out. Miorine doesn't bother with a towel and drips water with every step she takes out of the bathroom. ]
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Date: 2023-05-29 10:24 pm (UTC)The cold shocks her out of her pleasant reverie, and she yelps, ineffectually trying to cover herself with her hands. Miorine's halfway out of the bathroom before Suletta manages to scramble out of the shower, grabbing a towel so fast that the bar holding it spins rapidly before going still again.
Suletta wraps herself in it, holding white-knuckled onto it with one hand, grabbing a second towel with the other. There's little puddles of water all over thanks to Miorine, and in her haste she very nearly slips.
She approaches Miorine with the caution of approaching a wild animal, gently draping the extra towel over her shoulders. This done, she breathes out in a relieved sigh, having set the universe right again.]
You'll catch a cold.
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Date: 2023-05-30 01:21 am (UTC)In the end she allows her to approach. ]
You know that theory was disproved forever ago.
[ But still, she does not deny the warmth and gives Suletta some peace of mind. Somehow these things have become more important than being right.
With the towel around her she's at least covered up now. Miorine bypasses her half gutted mess of a suitcase and heads straight for bed. She pulls the towel away once under the duvet and lazily dries the water from her hair.
Her vision is in and out obscured from the towel and her own split focus- she thinks about all the things she has done, what she has left to do, meetings tomorrow and meetings that have passed. And then, she looks at Suletta, finding those thoughts beginning to slow. ]
You have long legs.
[ It's a thought from her stream of conscious that manages to slip from her brain and through her mouth. ]
You're lucky.
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Date: 2023-05-30 03:58 am (UTC)She hustles to her own suitcase without looking at anything in particular, crouching beside it to find her pajamas. Her hair is still wet; the towel dips just slightly. Her gaze has the sharp focus that came over her when she was piloting: when something had her singular attention. This lasts long enough for her to find her pajama bottoms, and then Miorine's comment makes her lose her train of thought.]
Eh?
[She looks up, blinking owlishly, still holding half of her pajamas.] Really? ... Thank you.
[A sheepish smile follows this — she'd never thought about her legs with any amount of depth, save the times she would see someone in a pretty dress or skirt and imagine wearing it. With their uniforms, there was never much opportunity for it — impractical by any measure. The compliment pleases her, warms her. She twists her clothing between her hands. Suddenly, she is aware of the weight of Miorine's stare, like a sunbeam aimed directly at her, enough to make her skin tingle. Her breath catches. She quickly turns her attention back to her suitcase, finding her top. For a while she is silent, mulling over something.
Finally, hesitantly, without looking up again, she speaks up.] It means a lot from you because... because you're so pretty.
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Date: 2023-05-31 12:22 am (UTC)Nothing about how I look has anything to do with you. It's a just a fact- you're as tall as a model and have good proportions. There are women who spend every single day exercising to look like you. Anyway- hand me my pajamas. They're on the floor by your foot.
[ Case in point: even her empathy often sounded dismissive or rude. In reality she wants Suletta to know her good traits have nothing to do with her perception of anyone else. ]
You know.. you don't have to do that stuff. I know you're not really into women and I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. I can't promise I won't take my clothes off in front of you again, though.
[ When she was drunk all bets were off. ]
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Date: 2023-05-31 04:47 am (UTC)This, though. She could not make sense of what Miorine was saying — how her words clashed with her sentiment. But... if she stayed quiet like this, Miorine would think she had done something wrong, and it wasn't that she'd done anything wrong.
Wasn't it?
It was the same as always, so she shouldn't feel bothered by it. It wouldn't be fair to hold that against her.]
Miorine...
[She says, after a long pause. She takes a deep breath, remembers being scolded by Miorine about her posture, and straightens up as if she'd just heard her yell at her to do so in her head (she had.) She looks Miorine in the eye, her gaze more somber than it ever has been.
She's gone very red.] ... Do you think that I'm pretty? [Her mouth twitches; her hands twist anxiously in her lap.] If... if you do, then, pl-please just say that!
[Her nerves get the better of her, and her hands fly up to cover her mouth. She looks mortified.
She nudges Miorine's pajamas over with her foot.]
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Date: 2023-05-31 05:09 pm (UTC)For a second all she can do is sit there, slack jawed, drowning in her hotel towel. ]
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Date: 2023-05-31 05:15 pm (UTC)I do. I've thought that since the first day I met you.
[ She still remembers so vividly being angrily pulled into Aerial's cockpit. Even despite her anger and frustration Miorine had taken time to notice the clear green eyes staring back at her; immediately, she'd thought of a pair of emerald earrings her mother once owned.
There were other things too: how slender her neck was, her hair so vibrant and silky, even the way she carried herself- all her touches as light as could be despite what a warrior she was in battle. ]
But you have to believe it yourself. It doesn't matter how many times I say it if you don't start taking more pride in who you are.
[ It's something she believes wholeheartedly, but it's also a way for her to turn attention away from how embarrassed she is. ]
Also, don't touch my pajamas with your feet.
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Date: 2023-05-31 06:03 pm (UTC)Imsosorry!
[It comes out muffled behind her hands before she reaches to grab Miorine's pajamas, and then at last slowly stands from her crouched position. Her knees ache from sitting so long while closed in on herself. Her expression is hard to read as she hands Miorine her clothing in silence.
Then she sits beside her on the bed, head slumped. She rubs at her temples. She seems a little older for a moment, a little more settled. The way she looked often, when alone inside of Aerial: somber and focused.]
I'm not like you.
[She says this after a delay.] No one... no one has ever called me pretty.
[Her hands anxiously twist, and she takes a deep breath.] On Mercury... we weren't welcome. No one liked me, or mom. They didn't want us around. They weren't like... like the people here. No one smiled. No one said thank you. So Aerial and I, we worked really hard! Mom too. All the time — we never saw each other.
[She looks up, stares ahead at nothing. It seems to calm her, to say these things while imagining that Miorine wasn't there, that she was in Aerial instead.] No matter how hard I tried, it didn't change. When Mom asked me if I wanted to go to school, I was so excited! [She brings her hands together, smiling at last, at this memory. ] I'd... only read about school, or watched shows about it.
[Her smile gradually fades. Her expression takes on that eerie somberness again.]
I thought... if... if I could help build a school on Mercury, then they would like me and Mom, and Aerial. But sometimes... I can't believe that.
[It's a shameful admission. Her face crumples at it, at how mean-spirited and dismal a thought it was, that she couldn't just make it go away.]
That's why... it's hard, to do what you said.
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Date: 2023-05-31 06:23 pm (UTC)Neither of them talked about themselves much, for reasons that were different and for some reasons that were likely the same. She looks up at the ceiling too, somewhat resigned. ]
Do you think someone as pigheaded as Guel would like you if you weren't pretty? He's hardly interested in charity.
[ There's some annoyance there, very much audible in her voice. But it's mostly a distraction from the hurt she feels on Suletta's behalf, somehow more frustration than her own. At least when it came to her own self-imposed misery she could do something about it.
It was harder to undo years of misery imposed on another.
Miorine falls against the pillows behind her, she's small enough that she sinks into the cracks threatening to be eaten alive by down feathers and Egyptian cotton. ]
I didn't have any friends before you. I was just.. this thing, passed around like a trophy- like a lottery ticket. With every duel Guel won I just, I wanted to disappear. Every time one of my escape plans got ruined there was a part of me that wished I didn't exist. What point was there in being brought into the world by your parents if they were just going to treat you like a thing?
[ Even Shaddiq, for all his smiles and the charity of his free time had left her to her own devices and the whims of her Holders. Whatever she was, she was just a means to an end- never a person. ]
You were the reason I have any pride in who I am now- you're the first person who cared enough to fight for me, even if it was for Aerial's sake. So don't tell me you're not like me. I get mad at you because I get it.
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